Fresh Try...Fate...!!

Trying again... will that be successful..?? really never know...is their time for this new tack? or is it gonna result in same? never know..

the other question ..Is this correct..? decision once made, now a change just because cannot handle the emotional baggage of it.. just think, what would have undergone with the other for same reason..? mere thought gives shudders.. what a fool to realize such late..

then, there is realisation atleast... next.. should it be communicated? or just go ahead and bear the pain of it.. this pain is the punishment for the deeds done... though the scars are gone.. beneath remain the feel of it..

so late it has dawned the effects.. shouldn't have done this.. but..(this but is nasty thing..!!) was there a option... yes there was.. a painful one... painful in entirety.. painful for everyone... so painful that better the pain was limited to few selected...

Again..was that correct.? being so analytical and arriving at conclusion.. did it really work... it has brought back to same situation.. and analyzing again.. will the conclusion will be same..? to choose between pain for EVERYONE or pain for selected few..?

further, should this be communicated or should the facade remain..? communication will lead to more for those selected few but (again "but"..!!$&#$) non-communication will have more pain for only one... 

then let that one perish.. let that pain whine in solitude... let he pay for his deeds... so be it..

 

Inevitable..!!

Wan't this inevitable.? It always was.. it was matter of time.. waiting endlessly was not possible. That too when there is complete uncertainty.. where one does not know the reason for this uncertainty..

Any flow of salt water is not gonna help.. no matter what is thought about.. what matters is action.. as there was no action, this was bound to happen.. one cannot lament over it..

though one thing is certain.. this was not desired by either.. still happened.. what a fate.. it was just because of ones stubbornness..

Adamant that the result otherwise would not be comfortable to anybody.. obstinate to not mull over the options to make good the side effects..

Alas, what are these thoughts now worth...!!

It was inevitable...

Chronicle Continues....

It continues... the things that were shunned earlier.. the ban is gone.. it seems the ban is selective.. it appears and disappears.. may be one does not know until made aware of.. so should not be made aware of.. so the beautiful appearances keep coming and life is made more beautiful..

Long Hair

Aahhh.. this is reminder of those desperate attempt for long hair.... just because loved it...

and seems the experiment continues.. what does that signify..? or just nothing but self imagination of things..

Hope is what keeps human alive and ticking...

Anything meant so much..!!

She said.. "you can say me anything to me..." and duffer did not realise that not saying precise thing would hurt as much...

It really meant.. "I am waiting for those precious words... Just say it..."

was it really hard not to understand.. the trust behind those few words.. that was not said once but as many opportunities it garnered.. one does not realize importance of those lines till the one basks oneself in the lost opportunity of taking advantage for good of all... 

The trust... it was huge.... realized that too but then how could one explain the events later in that moment, if the trust was so good.. was trust for no good..?

arrghhhh..... gosh.. I knew what is being thought at this moment.... can a give a life for it...? (really..!!??)

Ohh.. really confusing...

yearn....!!

Sometimes, you just yearn... and not do anything about it.... how helpless one is.. why is it so?
why we yearn..? only for one glimpse..? only for one note..? only for one syllable..? only for one touch..? only for one feel...

could one get just one....?

Words to Remember...!!

And so said... "Stop staring... you are making me conscious"

And I stopped staring....

Eyes to remember....!!!!

Ahhh.. those words... "Its okay.." but then the eyes betrayed those words.. they screamed... "WHY..???" 

Eyes betray all the other body language... the smile supposed to have soothing effect. only reflected the storm behind those eyes.. those must have got watered.. though only after departure...

still remember vividly those eyes... those have haunted day and night.... does it have to be like this?

11 months and counting..!!!!

Are blogs good enough to be diary.. then do diaries are good..? that too open diaries, which can be read by one?
diaries are used or rather utilized to express your feelings, emotions.. then what good are those expressions without an audience? so diaries do need audience. Important is not who it presents itself to, important is does it convey, what it wants to convey.. it just needs an outlet for those expressions.. an way to vent itself out.. once that is done, the purpose is achieved. goal attained, mission accomplished.. the beauty does not lie in the reach to intended person as it not intended for anyone rather its purpose is to express.. just express..

Now just wanted to express 11 months and counting.. no need to understand its meaning, purpose, mission.. as it is already accomplished...

Wait.....!!

Now the wait starts... will it have same results... or new surprises, if any...?

Offer

And this is offered.... an offer difficult to refuse and honouring it would invite difficulties... it would lead to same results... same situations.. same answers...

Who are we kidding with!!!??? ourselves? or with others? its the same thing all over again....


somebody help....

Meetings

And those were the meetings, which were always awaited.. looked forward... made at the last moment, spontaneous (whoa...!! took a lot of time to make that spontaneous..)...

should have thought about it more...

always yearning for more... then those are the times.. when do we not yearn.. isnt it..?

The Signal

It was Valentines.... and she asked  "Can we have a cup of coffee...!!??"

Ohhh Man.. I should have got that... and the years went by.... no valentines....no coffee...

How could one be so stupid...?

Purpose

So much thinking... and what is the result...? something which one cannot comprehend.. one spends entire life understanding the nuances.. to find some meaning to the randomness.. and when you find one, you realise the time when this needs to be implemented is long gone by..

The question is still unanswered to the one who is just at the onset of life... the truth learned by one in its last days is difficult to communicate the other..

the purpose has to be learned by everyone on its own.. this message cannot be passed.

the new ones mock the old ones for their saying as these have not yet earned the capability to ingress the wisdom dispensed by the old.

The question then assumes importance is what has one to do with its life? start searching for the answer, which will consume it? or go along with ignorance enjoying life...

ahhh!!! here we realise, why is it said "Ignorance is Bliss" The knowledge, the truth, the realisation makes one feel the futility of the entire process....

So then what the purpose... just to waste it!!!!????

MoonStruck!!!

What a magnificence!! MOON.... it is one of wonders, which never fails to amaze you... Its beauty lies in the radiant glow which has a soothing effect.. though it derives its brightness from the super glowing hot SUN, it is the cool coefficient of moon's dalliance with the hot sun rays, which oozes in the darkness of night...

Its super charged with the glow, which soothes your heart.. calms your senses..recalls your memories of the beloved...Lo shone moon upon earth and human descends into reverie of memories...

And so it shone upon me today.. so it calmed me.... so it brought sharpness to my senses..

AND LO SHONE THE MOON!!

Trust...!!

This innocuous little word has made a many kings and also has made them loose kingdoms..... lives are taken and also lost for this 5 letter wonder...

I wonder how much weight does it carry? it carries the burden of the mankind. (or should i say "humankind" to be gender neutral?) for this mankind relies on this for their day to day functioning, for the achievements.. for the failures and the epics made in the ensuing...

 It takes a lifetime to create it and only a moment of carelessness to loose it. hah!! "careless"  sometimes i wonder, what do we care for? why do we care for? why this endless effort for? to what end? or is it just because we are alive?

No.. it is because we trust that there is some purpose ..(though generations have been wasted to determine those purpose..) but we TRUST.... so it nothing but TRUST...